We May Have Met, But I Camembert It

Today's cheese pun commemorates the art of forgetfulness, in honor of President Joe Biden's apparently slippery memory about having met the Federal Reserve Chairman, Jerome Powell, back in 2022. It's important, because Powell's aggressive half-point interest rate cut last week sent the stock market to a record high, just weeks before a major election in which the economy is a decisive factor for undecided voters.

Powell is a registered Republican, just like Dick Cheney and the 100 former national security officials who last week endorsed Biden's vice president, Kamala Harris. One can't help but think that if Powell didn't like Trump, he might have been tempted to put his full, adult-length finger on the scales. Still. The rest of our reasonably high-quality newsletter this Monday morning is a monument to excess and thoughtless expansion, ergo a monument to capitalism. Let's not spoil the party, eh?

–Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

P.S. We've got video of a robot called Stretch at work in a German warehouse on our Instagram! How long until a saboteur messes with its circuits, you think?

Quote of the Day

"Lowering interest rates isn't a declaration of victory. It's a declaration of progress, to signal we've entered a new phase of our economy and our recovery." – Joe Biden

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1. Would You Spend $13K on a Martini?

In the heart of Chicago, Adalina restaurant dazzles not just with its menu but with a concoction that's stirring buzz across the nation: the $13,000 Marrow Fine Martini.

Unveiled as possibly the most luxurious cocktail in America, this isn't your ordinary martini. Crafted by Colin Hofer, the Michelin Guide's 2022 Sommelier of the Year, this smoked heirloom tomato mezcal marvel comes with an extraordinary twist—a shimmering necklace from the esteemed Gold Coast jewelry house, Marrow Fine. Adorned with 150 gleaming diamonds set in 14-karat gold, this cocktail transcends the drink experience into a lavish affair.

The first customer, we're told, was a "gentleman" aiming to surprise his "wife," a known admirer of Marrow Fine's exquisite pieces. From there, the drink established itself. The martini, boasting Clase Azul mezcal infused with clarified heirloom tomato water and a hint of lemon basil olive oil, is presented in a spectacle of a smoke-filled cloche, amplifying its exclusivity and mystique, just like this reasonably high-quality newsletter.

The Marrow Martini at Adalina is more than a drink; it's a grand gesture of love, a benchmark in luxury cocktails, and a story worth telling. Just like Marie Antoinette's. Read More

2. Desperate Cinema Owners to Add Salad and Bowling Alleys Because Movies Are Not Enough

The National Association of Theater Owners has announced plans to invest $2.2 billion in "the cinematic experience" over three years. That's probably because fewer than 15% of Americans describe ourselves as "regular" filmgoers. I once made a pre-pandemic comic about the decline of an arthouse theater in San Francisco, come to think of it. And yet I've not been to the movies in person since Dune II came out, and before that, since before we had a kid.

The top eight chains (AMC, Regal, Cinemark, Cineplex, Marcus, B&B, Harkins and Santikos) account for 21,000 screens and 67% of the U.S. box office. The plan is to upgrade the overall quality of the auditoriums with cozier seats, more varied food options, greater use of laser projection, and better sound. They'll also invest in non-movie entertainment options like bowling alleys and video game arcades.

The quick version of that paragraph is you'll soon be able to get a salad at the movies while you go bowling at the movies. (Don't these NATO people watch The Simpsons?)

They've announced the news with the slogan "Make movies better, not just make better movies," although clearly Hollywood gave up on the "better movies" part some time before the release of Inside Out 2 and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.

As a Mubi.com subscriber who just fell asleep in an excellent documentary about a women's collective sauna in Estonia, I'd like it if the slogan was "stop making derivative rubbish and actually invest in good writing again," but the next thing you know I'll be saying how much I enjoyed some of Woody Allen's films from that era and... You know. To paraphrase The Big Lebowski, "Fluff it, dude, let's go bowling!" Read More

From @cheddar

Robots at work!

The Otto Group is stepping up its game with robotics to enhance efficiency and safety. In 2023, they revealed plans to roll out Boston Dynamics' Stretch robot in over 20 facilities and Spot in more than 10 by 2025.

This will be the first large-scale use of both robots in one company and Stretch's debut in Europe. Right now, Stretch is hard at work in the Hermes Fulfillment center in Haldensleben, Germany, unloading boxes from trailers and containers.

Follow @cheddar on Instagram!

3. Shohei Ohtani First Ever Member of MLB's Lonely-Sounding 50-50 Club

Off the baseball field, there's plenty to talk about when it comes to Shohei Ohtani. His dog is called Decoy. He won't reveal the name of his Japanese wife, whom he married in February. His translator pled guilty to stealing millions of his dollars to pay off gambling debts. And now the L.A Dodgers star has made headlines ON the field. Finally!

Ohtani-san, as Japanese papers describe him, has achieved the seemingly impossible by smashing over 50 home runs and zipping past 50 stolen bases in a single season. He launched his 50th homer of the season and stole his 50th and 51st bases in a game with the Miami Marlins last week. Now the Dodgers have a secure playoff slot with a 91–62 record.

At this point, Shohei and I both get to contemplate the loneliness that comes with being the best in our respective fields. Read More

The Biggest Disruption To IP Since Disney?

Elf Labs is rewriting the rules in the ~$2 trillion entertainment and licensed merchandise industry, using next-generation technology that combines cutting-edge compression algorithms for unparalleled levels of immersion. They're pushing the envelope with innovations like virtual reality that doesn't even require a headset and AI-powered talking toys that bring beloved characters to life in ways you've never imagined.

Even more exciting? Elf Labs has merged their breakthrough technology with the highest-grossing characters in history, including timeless icons like Cinderella, Snow White, and The Little Mermaid. These characters have already generated tens of billions of dollars in merchandise revenue, and Elf Labs is taking them into the future with unprecedented interactive experiences.

How is this possible? Through more than 100 historic trademark victories, Elf Labs owns rights to these world-famous characters. And now, for a limited time, you have the rare chance to invest in this innovative company and claim your piece of the magic.

But here's the exciting part—if you invest by September 27th, you'll receive a 5% bonus on your shares. This is an exclusive opportunity to not only invest in a company that's revolutionizing the way we experience entertainment but also to maximize your return with an extra bonus.

Don't wait—become a shareholder in Elf Labs today and claim your 5% bonus shares before September 27th.

Disclosure: This is a paid advertisement for Elf Lab's Regulation CF offering. Please read the offering circular at elflabs.com.

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4. Biden Forgot Meeting the Fed Chair in the Oval Office

President Joe Biden hailed the Federal Reserve's recent decision to reduce interest rates as a significant indicator of easing inflation.

Addressing the Economic Club of Washington, D.C., Biden said the move is a clear signal that we're transitioning into a promising new phase of economic resurgence and stability. "Lowering interest rates isn't a declaration of victory. It's a declaration of progress, to signal we've entered a new phase of our economy and our recovery," Biden said. I feel like anybody who says that is tempting fate, especially in an election year.

The historic cut, as Biden suggested, is poised to make home and car ownership more attainable for Americans, breathing new life into American Dream. Biden also championed the sanctity of the Federal Reserve's independence, claiming never once to have met with Fed Chair Jay Powell during his presidency, when in fact the pair met in the Oval Office in 2022.

Don't worry. Biden, whose finger hovers over the nuclear button, probably just forgot. I have a family member with dementia and trust me, that's the sort of slip you can expect from such people all the time. It's fine! Read More

5. The iPhone 16 Has Officially Arrived and Not Enough People Care

The iPhone 16 is now officially available in stores. It's got a better camera, a new processor, improved battery life, and a new operating system. I'm not going to upgrade from my 12 Pro Max even though I really want to, just because the new phone's supposed AI features haven't rolled out yet and frankly, it just seems a tad blah.

iPhone 15 sales slipped in the last quarter and a lot is riding on this for Apple. That said, pre-orders last weekend were 13% (lucky for some) lower than for the iPhone 15.

Still, "Tonight Show" host Jimmy Fallon—who, as we all know, starred in ads for the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus a decade ago—appeared at an Apple Store in New York with the firm's CEO, Tim Cook, on Friday morning, doing his best to gin up some excitement. Queues began at 4 a.m., and later, the store was surrounded by resellers who had bought two phones apiece and were planning some arbitrage, according to Business Insider, which sent reporters down there to cover it. Poor dears. Someone buy them a $13,000 martini. Read More