Take your time getting yourself together today, given the excesses you doubtless ran to on New Year's. And as we all know, Barinaga Ranch in California makes a raw-sheep's-milk cheese called Txiki, meaning "little" in Basque. It ages rapidly and tastes sweet, nutty, and a bit fruity, a lot like this newsletter. Today's Cheddlines you Need2Know include a variety of people taking something. In my country we would say they're "taking the mickey." But you be the judge: Txiki On Meeeeeeee. Txiki Meeeeeeee On. I'll be gooooooooone. In a day or twooooooOOOOo. —Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor |
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"It costs between $200k and $2 million to franchise a Dunkin' and you need a minimum net worth of half a million bucks." —Matt Davis |
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1. Musk Alert! Musk Alert! Not Everyone's Happy About His Government Role |
A retired big hitter in the U.S. Army has written a New York Times op-ed calling Elon "President" Musk a national security risk.
Lt. Gen. Russel L. Honoré led Task Force Katrina after the devastation of New Orleans and, after retiring from the Army, led a review of security at the U.S. Capitol after Jan. 6, 2021. In other words he's just some flake whose opinion you can easily discard.
"Mr. Musk's business ventures are heavily reliant on China," Honoré wrote. "China does not tend to give things away."
"Mr. Musk's business dealings in China could require him to hand over sensitive classified information, learned either through his business interests or his proximity to President-elect Donald Trump," Honoré wrote. "No federal agency has accused him of disclosing such material, but as Mr. [Vivek] Ramaswamy put it, China has recognized that U.S. companies are fickle.'"
"The question now is whether the incoming Trump administration will take this risk seriously," he wrote. And there's also the question of Musk's conversations with Vladimir Putin.
"The fact that Mr. Musk spent a quarter of a billion dollars to help re-elect Mr. Trump does not give the incoming White House the license to look the other way at the national security risks he may pose," Honoré concluded, perhaps wrongly. "If Mr. Trump and his appointees mean what they say about getting tough on America's adversaries, then they will act on this matter without delay. There is too much at stake to ignore what's right in front of them."
And yet, for some reason, I don't expect that's the likely next step in this saga. Read More |
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2. We Got Hacked by China, Says Treasury Department in Letter to Congress |
Speaking of how trustworthy China is, Chinese state-sponsored hackers breached the U.S. Treasury Department's computer security guardrails this month and stole documents in what Treasury called a "major incident," according to a letter it sent to lawmakers.
The hackers compromised BeyondTrust, the aptly named third-party cybersecurity service provider, and were able to access unclassified documents, the letter said.
According to the letter, hackers "gained access to a key used by the vendor to secure a cloud-based service used to remotely provide technical support for Treasury Departmental Offices (DO) end users. With access to the stolen key, the threat actor was able to override the service's security, remotely access certain Treasury DO user workstations, and access certain unclassified documents maintained by those users."
I have no idea what any of that means beyond "the hackers pwned us." But the Treasury can't say how many records were affected. China has denied any involvement and went further, saying it opposes "all hacking." But the latest revelation comes as U.S. officials are continuing to grapple with the fallout from a massive Chinese cyberespionage campaign known as Salt Typhoon that gave officials in Beijing access to private texts and phone conversations of an unknown number of Americans—including, perhaps, you.
Like the Chinese, I oppose all hacking in theory, and also pornography. Read More |
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| Can your dog do a handstand? This one can.
Unitree Robotics upgraded its $100,000 B2-W robot dog with impressive moves like flips, handstands, and hill climbing. Watch it spin, race over rough terrain, jump from heights, and even carry a person. |
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3. Walmart Birkin Makes Internet Go Wild |
Walmart has introduced an affordable alternative to the Hermès Birkin bag, affectionately dubbed the "Wirkin" by Internet fans. Walmart has a lot of money for intellectual property lawyers, but my bet is that Hermès does, too, and the bag's success could trigger them all to have a much deeper conversation. But so far? That thing has sold out!
The Birkin bag, a symbol of ultimate luxury and exclusivity, can retail anywhere from $25,000 to $400,000, depending on its materials and rarity. I recently read a fantastic novel called The Coin by Yasmin Zaher, which features a whole episode where a young Palestinian woman tries to buy a Birkin bag in Paris by scamming the fashion house. It was fantastic. But the bottom line is: It's not even just about the money. You must be invited to buy a Birkin. Like, woah.
Meanwhile Walmart's "dupe" is $78. Unlike counterfeit goods, the dupe doesn't feature the iconic Birkin logo, but it certainly mimics the design and style. The bag, called BeyondTrust the "BESTSPR Platinum Lychee Tote," has taken social media by storm.
My sense is that Hermès may well decide to just take the high road. Meanwhile, people are arguing that Walmart is democratizing fashion. The company is worth $725 billion, so I suspect they may just be interested in maximizing sales. But who knows? Read More |
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4. Dunkin' Teams Up With Sabrina Carpenter |
You know what depressed the hell out of my wife on Monday? Seeing an old couple in a rural Dunkin' Donuts, lining up for their morning coffee.
"At their age they should be at a local coffee shop where everybody knows their name," she said.
Meanwhile I was like: "It costs between $200,000 and $2 million to franchise a Dunkin', and you need a minimum net worth of half a million bucks. If we play our cards right, we could probably be exploiting that elderly couple ourselves in less than ten years' time, assuming they haven't died by then. Or at least countless elderly couples just like them."
And I even promised to learn their names, as a compromise. Because I have a heart of gold, filled with grape jelly.
Meanwhile, the news: Dunkin' has kicked off the holiday season with a collaboration with pop sensation Sabrina Carpenter. Following her Short n' Sweet Tour, Carpenter is ready to serve her fans a new kind of espresso—literally. Teaming up with Dunkin', the duo is set to introduce the Sabrina's Brown Sugar Shakin' Espresso, a delightful concoction that promises to dazzle your taste buds, energize your day, and synergize your every waking moment.
The new drink, an iced, shaken espresso enriched with brown sugar and oat milk, is inspired by "Espresso," Carpenter's Billboard No. 1 global song of the summer for 2024.
You see what they've done there.
The "excitement" doesn't "stop" with the Brown Sugar Shakin' Espresso. Dunkin' is introducing a new $5 Meal Deal, which includes two Wake-Up Wraps and a medium hot or iced coffee. Because I have a Journalism Degree™, I'm happy to tell you that customers can choose from bacon, sausage, turkey sausage, or a meatless option with egg and cheese, all wrapped in a soft flour "tortilla." This deal, which launched yesterday, the same day as Carpenter's espresso/Espresso/"Espresso," offers a perfect combo of savory and sweet to start your day right, or at least less wrongly!
I reckon I'd like a drive-thru one. Not just a storefront. And I would pay my staff, like, minimum wage. Read More |
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5. You Can Now Stream 'Wicked' for $30 |
The hit movie "Wicked" is gracing various streaming platforms this week. Starring diminutive singer Ariana Grande as G(a)linda and Tony Award winner Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba, "Wicked" will be streamable on platforms including Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV, Fandango at Home (formerly Vudu), Comcast Xfinity, Cox, YouTube, and Microsoft Movies & TV, which we did not know existed until just now.
While prices might slightly vary by platform, as of Monday fans can pre-order "Wicked" on Amazon Prime Video, Fandango, Apple TV, and YouTube for $29.99.
Thirty bucks! I just found two tickets to the Broadway musical version for a mere $800!
For collectors and physical media enthusiasts like my father-in-law, "Wicked" will also make its debut on 4K UHD, Blu-ray, and DVD on February 4. I'm betting the cost will be around $700, saving you a whole hundred dollars on the Broadway version. Read More |
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