Some restaurants are getting…creative with their line items. Forget "service charge" or "kitchen appreciation fee" — the hot new trend is the "Trump Tariff Surcharge." Yes, you read that right. Before you even ask, no, these tariffs haven't actually happened yet. Think of it as a sort of preemptive financial bracing. Calamari served with a side of political commentary because businesses, anticipating the Trump tariffs, are seemingly deciding, "Why wait for the economic policy to hit? Let's just charge everyone now!"
It's like your dentist billing you for a cavity you might get. Imagine the possibilities. So next time you dine out, scan that receipt carefully. The extra charge might not be for the bread basket; it could be the ghost of tariffs yet to come.
Okay, let's be real. Seeing a dude absolutely lose it after winning the big one — we're talking full-on, snot-nosed, ugly-cry weeping like Rory McIlroy did when he won the Masters golf on Sunday — is top-tier sports viewing. Forget the stoic fist pump or the slightly-too-intense stare into the middle distance. Give us the tears!
For too long, the Man Code™ (I have a copy at home, if you'd like to borrow it) dictated that the only acceptable victory emotion for men in sports was a manly grunt and maybe, maybe a discreet head nod acknowledging the crushing weight of glory.
Boring! Seeing these athletes, these titans of sport, reduced to blubbering messes of pure joy is fantastic. It's not weakness; it's the pressure valve finally releasing after years of insane dedication, possibly also fueled by questionable energy drinks and sheer terror of letting everyone down.
I think these victory tears are doing American culture a favor at a time when "strong men" are trying to avoid showing weakness all over the place. They tell lads everywhere that it's okay to have feelings bigger than "hungry" or "slightly annoyed." You can be a peak physical specimen and cry because you finally whacked a ball into a hole better than anyone else. It's relatable! Here's to the glorious, messy humanity of it all.
A special moment for humanity as the world gets to watch billionaires play astronauts with the tax money they avoided paying
4:52 PM • Apr 14, 2025
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Oh, no! It's tax deadline day! We've got top tips…
Okay, folks, deep breaths. If you're like me, you just realized Tax Day is practically today. Don't worry, we're not alone. Andy Phillips at H&R Block $HRB ( ▲ 2.83% ) is here.
First things first, Andy says, "Make sure you file by the due date." Duh, right? But seriously, "The penalty for failing to file is up to 10 times more than the penalty for just failing to pay." So, even if you owe more than your couch cushions can cough up, file something! An extension is "only an extension of time to file," not to magically find more money, but it could help.
Now, about those 1099-Ks. If you've been selling your "vintage" socks online or getting paid for, uh, "services" via Venmo, listen up! "For 2024 taxes, more people are getting from 1099K." The threshold dropped to $5,000, so "more people are getting it, and they're getting it for the first time." Translation: The IRS knows about your side hustle, so you better report it.
"Life changes equal tax changes," Andy said. So: Got married? Had a kid? Bought a house? Don't leave money on the table! And the Earned Income Credit? "Millions of people miss that every year just because they don't realize they qualify."
Finally, Andy reminds us that "a lot of the individual provisions in that tax cut package expire at the end of 2025." So, while this year's taxes are (mostly) set, keep an eye out for future changes. In the meantime, H&R Block is here to help, because, as Andy says, "H&R Block is always going to have you covered."
Or, you know, you could call my guy Eric with Brass Taxes. He's also fantastic. Hi, Eric! 👋🏻 #NotTaxAdvice
Chen Zhao with Redfin $REDFIN ( 0.0% ) is a master of delivering bad news with a smile. She calmly explained that the housing market is "pretty sluggish actually."
As in, it's in a coma — and then there are mortgage rates. "It's not like we're going to be looking at 5% mortgage rates or 4% mortgage rate, like anything close to what we've seen in the recent past," Chen said. So, basically, you'll be stuck with a rate that makes you want to cry.
The kicker? The "golden handcuffs." Apparently, everyone with a decent mortgage rate is clinging to it for dear life. "It's really huge," Chen says. This means there's no inventory on the market, and that's also driving prices up.
Chen's final words of wisdom? Keep a long-term perspective. "If you're buying a home because it's the right decision for your family…it's probably an investment that will still pay off into the future."
Will bonds kill our economy? As Adam Turnquist, the chief technical strategist at LPL Financial, put it, last Tuesday night was "certainly one for the record books." As in, the bad record books. Since then, the bond market has been jumping all over the place like a caffeinated squirrel in a nut factory. One minute, everything's chill, the next, "indiscriminate selling" is happening, and you know that can't be good.
There's concern that the rising yields on bonds — which come about because the U.S. government needs to offer better interest to convince people to let it borrow money — could tip over into a broader recession. Let's not forget the dollar, which is apparently experiencing a "material breakdown." Adam says this is "not exactly a great sign for the U.S. economy on a relative basis."
So, if the bond market doesn't get you, the dollar will. On the other hand, stocks were up modestly yesterday, so perhaps everything is fine? (It's not). #NotFinancialAdvice.
