Plus: Foreign film tariffs and crypto-bro kidnappings!
Hello, dear readers!
So, about the cheese puns! Recently, we asked our Cheddheads what they think of the cheese puns that used to begin this reasonably high-quality newsletter. A sizable portion of you loved them like the president loves the word tariff, and a sizable portion hated them like the president hates Rosie O'Donnell. So, they went away, but just for now. We're working on an advanced, high-tech, AI-powered system that will only deliver them to the lovers. (Sorry, haters.) In the meantime, I've been writing and editing this newsletter, but will now be returning to introduce it as well! It's a bit like the time Michael Corleone said this, in the Godfather: Part III:
It's the only line anyone ever quotes from that movie.
Warren E. Buffett, affectionately dubbed the "Oracle of Omaha," mastered the art of making mountains of cash out of a molehill of a floundering textile mill. From there, he spun Berkshire Hathaway $BRK.A ( ▼ 4.87% ) into a corporate colossus, now worth a jaw-dropping $1.1 trillion, or about three Elon Musks.
Now he's retiring. It's a big moment. He made a lot of money, then he quit. So basically, he's the capitalist version of Gandhi. Except instead of freeing his people from colonialist oppression, Buffett made a bunch of money.
Buffett once said: "Forget what you know about buying fair businesses at wonderful prices; instead, buy wonderful businesses at fair prices." Translation: Patiently stalk greatness. He has said that his favorite holding period is "forever," and he is the largest shareholder in Coca-Cola $KO ( ▲ 0.07% ) and American Express $AXP ( ▲ 0.43% ) . Sure, forever sounds romantic, until you've had a bad quarter. But Buffett's track record suggests that falling in love with a good stock pays: Berkshire's stock grew 5,502,284% from 1964 to 2024.
At 94, Buffett's wisdom endures, even if his tech portfolio doesn't. Despite famously sleeping on Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 1.91% ) and Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 0.2% ) because he didn't adequately understand them at the time, he still managed to rack up a personal fortune of $168 billion, or about half Elon Musk's. He did manage to catch the $AAPL ( ▼ 3.15% ) train, incidentally, although he's not invested in $NVDA ( ▼ 0.59% ) directly, and he hates the idea of investing in cryptocurrency because it doesn't involve making products or providing traditional services.
CEOs still court his investment stakes like a golden seal of approval. As Buffet's successor Gregory Abel prepares to take the reins as Berkshire CEO, it's pretty certain he won't be able to grow the company another 5 million percent. If you're looking for the next Berkshire you might need to go buy a failing business in the midwest and the good news is that with the tariffs looming there are plenty of them around.
Word on the street is that his next big move is to open a restaurant in Nebraska. It'll be called Warren's Buffet.
Now you can sign up for an optional ad-free version of Need2Know! Subscribe for just $5 a month, or $50 a year, and you can continue to enjoy this reasonably high-quality newsletter uninterrupted. Bonus: The immense satisfaction that comes from supporting journalism*!
President Donald Trump has entered his next act: Threatening to slap a 100% tariff on foreign-made films to Make Hollywood Great Again. Next time you settle into your recliner to watch a brilliantly shot South Korean drama or a New Zealand–made blockbuster like "Minecraft," please remember that you're also, let's say, murdering Hollywood.
"The Movie Industry in America is DYING a very fast death," Trump proclaimed on Truth Social yesterday. His diagnosis? Foreign incentives like tax breaks, hardworking crews and pristine filming vistas are stealing business faster than Disney $DIS ( ▼ 0.41% ) can roll out another Marvel sequel here in America. Admittedly, Marvel did make $91 billion in revenues last year, but that's clearly a death rattle, not a cash register ringing in your ears.
"At some point," Trump argued, "THEY will own it all—what will we do then?"
You'll remember that Trump picked Mel Gibson, Jon Voight, and Sylvester Stallone as "Hollywood Ambassadors" during his most recent campaign. They're all great actors, and also Republicans.
Here's a story from 1921 about how Hollywood producers were opposed to increasing tariffs on foreign films because they feared other countries would respond with their own tariffs on American movies
3:47 AM • May 5, 2025
505 Likes 159 Retweets
7 Replies
OpenAI will remain under nonprofit control
OpenAI, the nonprofit that grew into a $300 billion juggernaut and attracted 400 million weekly users, has decided to remain, well, "charitable," reversing course after pursuing a plan to convert itself into a for-profit business.
The move, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with lawsuits filed by Elon Musk but rather benevolent altruism. Also, there was, let's say, a lawsuit filed by Elon Musk. It accused the company and CEO Sam Altman of betraying the founding principles that led Musk, another benevolent altruist, to invest in the charity. A federal judge last week dismissed some of Musk's claims and allowed others to proceed to a trial set for next year.
Altman yesterday claimed discussions with "civic leaders" were key in deciding to let the nonprofit keep control of the behemoth business. Meanwhile OpenAI's for-profit arm is transforming into a public benefit corporation, which has, wait for it—shareholders. But don't worry! They'll "consider the mission" alongside their interest in yachts. In other words? Everybody eats.
Not today but perhaps tomorrow. #NotFinancialAdvice
Crypto bros, watch out! French kidnappers want you
You know who I love? Crypto entrepreneurs. Like, if you start talking to me about crypto? The first thing I'm gonna do is tell you how much I love you. And no, it's got nothing to do with the ransom note I'm going to write your family after I kidnap you. Or as they say in france, it's got "rien" to do with it.
I only threw that French word in because my editor today loves to show off his French pronunciation. Voilà! Eh? And he loves crypto entrepreneurs at least trois fois as much as I do.
Yes. Paris may be the city of love and croissants, but now it spawned an idea almost as novel as the guillotine: cryptocurrency kidnappings. French police conducted a nighttime raid in the suburb of Essonne, rescuing the father of a crypto magnate taken hostage for undisclosed ransom demands. The gendarmes managed to nab five people, including a getaway driver. The kidnappers are now contemplating the joys of French interrogation techniques, thanks to authorities who are exploring creative charges like "kidnapping with torture or a barbaric act."
Zut! If your next business venture involves digital assets, be prepared for the newest rite of passage. Meantime, invest in some security?
Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 1.91% ) has officially entered the satellite internet arena with its Project Kuiper, launching the first of 27 satellites into low earth orbit last week. The $10 billion initiative aims to deploy over 3,000 satellites, promising high-speed, low-latency internet. But how does Amazon's venture compare to established players like Starlink?
"Starlink already massively dominates this industry," Verge reporter Jess Weatherbed told us. "Even for a newcomer as noticeable as Amazon, that can feel quite daunting."
One major difference lies in the launch systems. Unlike Starlink, which uses SpaceX for its launches, Project Kuiper relies on multiple launch companies. Weatherbed explained, "Kuiper is actually having to rely on several different launch companies to get its satellites into space." This contrasts sharply with Starlink, where "everything is owned by SpaceX, they do their own launches, they make their own products, they conduct everything as a single company."
So, how does Amazon plan to stand out? Bandwidth, says Weatherbed. While Starlink maxes out at around 220 megabytes per second, Amazon's terminals are aiming higher at 400 megabytes. There's also an "enterprise system that can, apparently, do gigabit internet connectivity," Jess said. However, she cautioned: "We have no idea whether this is actually gonna work in practice."
But nobody ever launched a satellite company with that sort of defeatist attitude, did it?
