SURVIVAL GUIDE — It's all systems go for the Calgary Stampede. WestJet is airborne, catastrophically damaged water mains are fixed, and the eastern bums of the Ottawa fishbowl are westward-bound. Familiar faces will fill today's YOW-YYC flights. Stampede starts tomorrow. We asked seasoned vets of the massive celebration of western culture for tips on how to fake it in a sea of partying Calgarians. Here’s our cheat sheet: — Footwear finesse: JON MOSER of Moser Public Affairs offers this simple rule for Stampede newbs. "Wear two of the following — jeans, boots or cowboy hat — and you’ll fit right in," he tells Playbook. SABRINA GROVER, senior account director at Spark Advocacy, implores visitors to grab a pair of boots. "The floors are sticky with beer and sometimes more, and you don't want your toes trampled on by someone attempting a line dance." New boots are probably a recipe for endless pain, says KATE DALGLEISH of the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs (CIJA). "If you don’t have well-worn and broken-in cowboy boots already, then go for a different boot instead. Blundstones or riding boots are fine. No runners!" It's the effort that counts, she says: "A Laurentian Elite or Toronto Lawyer foolish enough to wear a business suit during Stampede is a common punchline." — Stetson etiquette: "A cowboy hat is not mandatory, just make sure you don’t wear it backwards — the pointy end is the front," says Dalgleish. — Don't schmooze 24/7: Check out the midway, chuck wagon races and rodeo. "Make sure you step away from the reception circuit and actually visit the Stampede Grounds," says Grover. And save room for deep-fried food. — Plan for the heat: "Keep a few liquid IVs [electrolyte drink mix] on you at all times and hydrate in between those Budweisers," says Grover. "Stampede parties are legendary, but so are the hangovers." For those, she has a cure: "Free pancakes, bacon and lots of maple syrup." There are so many pancake breakfasts. Here's every single one. — Avoid this word: "Don't ever call Stampede a 'cute event' to a Calgarian," Grover says. "It's not cute. It's half-a-billion dollars of economic activity in 10 days. You're welcome, Canada." SCHMOOZEFEST — Need to fill up your day planner? Want to soak up the FOMO? Here are as many major receptions as we could track down. Your Stampede agenda: Today: The City of Edmonton hosts a kickoff party at the Downtown Marriott, starting at 5 p.m. New West Public Affairs takes over CENTRAL Taps + Food at 6 p.m. Friday: The Stampede parade gets underway downtown at 9 a.m. Global Public Affairs hosts a 12 p.m. shindig at Palomino Smokehouse. CIJA counters with its 12:30 p.m. Spuds & Suds breakfast at the Hyatt Regency. Maple Leaf Strategies and Yorkville Strategies are at Major Tom at 6 p.m. Saturday: Conservative MP JASRAJ SINGH HALLAN hosts a 9 a.m. pancake breakfast at Marlborough Mall. Expect many caucus colleagues (and a party leader). Later on, the Tories host an annual Heritage Park BBQ featuring PIERRE POILIEVRE. Tory MP SHUV MAJUMDAR is unofficial host as local MP. Liberal MP GEORGE CHAHAL hosts a rival breakfast at Genesis Centre — a popular event for local Grits starting at 10 a.m. (minus the prime minister this year). The Ismaili Muslim community hosts another breakfast at its HQ on 45th Avenue NE. The Canadian Chamber of Commerce holds a lunch-hour mixer at Rooftop YYC. Crestview Strategy follows up with a hootenanny at Palomino. Sunday: Equal Voice brings the schmoozers back to Rooftop YYC for a 1 p.m. reception. Party-goers can hop over to Rooftop National on 8th at 3 p.m. for Canadian Strategy Group's afternoon reception. Monday: Alberta Premier DANIELLE SMITH hosts her annual pancake breakfast at McDougall Centre. Start time: 7 a.m. The Calgary Chamber of Commerce starts a reception at 10:30 a.m. inside the Downtown Marriott. Navigator's party at Barcelona Tavern gets underway at 4:30 p.m. Thirty minutes later, Alberta Industrial Heartland keeps the party going at National on 10th. — Liberals out on the town: As Playbook first reported, Prime Minister JUSTIN TRUDEAU is giving Stampede a pass this year. Treasury Board President ANITA ANAND and Employment Minister RANDY BOISSONNAULT will reprise their roles as headliners of the Laurier Club party on Saturday night at MobSquad Café. They're joined by co-host CHRYSTIA FREELAND, the deputy PM who hails from rural Alberta.
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