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We Have To Talk About…
When Functional Freeze Is Your Only Form of Self-Care
POV: You're going through the motions and checking things off your to-do list, but mentally, you're paralyzed. You spend your limited free time "resting" by bed-rotting and scrolling. If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with a functional freeze. It's not a clinical term or diagnosis, but it's what happens when stress piles up and sends you into a "freeze response" that's hard to come out of, says Angela Neal-Barnett, PhD, a psychologist and professor at Kent State University.
It may feel like you're taking care of yourself, but freezing isn't self-care — and staying in this state long-term can hurt your health.
I thought I was just being lazy.
Is it lazy to be so stressed that you have nothing left to give yourself? Functional freeze is a result of trauma or stress — whether it's one big stressor or many little ones — that forces you to dissociate and go on autopilot. It's like a survival tactic: "Our brain is protecting us," says Neal-Barnett.
It can happen to people who juggle multiple responsibilities daily (see: women everywhere). Moms, caregivers, or anyone doing significant emotional labor may be particularly at risk, says Neal-Barnett.
But I can handle it.
It probably seems that way. Functional freeze is what Neal-Barnett calls a "maladaptive coping mechanism." Untreated chronic stress can put you at greater risk of digestive issues, high blood pressure, and heart disease (the number one cause of death in women, FYI), to name a few. There may also be "low levels of depression and anxiety" underneath a functional freeze, she says. So even if you can technically handle it, living in this state isn't sustainable.
Your move
Thank your brain for doing its best. But you deserve real self-care. Try these strategies for reconnecting with the present and addressing your mental health:
Treat yourself to some true self-care by doing breathwork, relaxing, and just enjoying something that connects you with other people.
Connect with your senses. Neal-Barnett recommends the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself.
Take something (or things) off your plate by reprioritizing or saying "no" from the get-go. Easier said than done, we know.
Ask for help. Turning to your partner or family member for support will remove some stress — and ultimately help you feel more like yourself.
See a professional. Treat your mental health like your physical health. If something hurts, it's time to seek an expert.
We asked Skimm'rs what they wish people knew about going through fertility treatment, and we're incredibly grateful for all the responses we received. Many expressed how unpredictable the process was for them, while others shared their frustration about how long it can take to get answers. If any of that sounds familiar, Fertility Out Loud can help. They offer relatable and informative guidance for anyone navigating their fertility journey — plus a space to share your story and connect with others who get it. Join the community.†
Skimm Picks
Here are today's recs for a life well-lived.
This cooling roller works to sculpt your neck while distributing serum that hydrates, tightens, and brightens.
Here's a thing we bet you never knew you needed: an allover body deodorant. The cream formula is aluminum-free and dries to an invisible finish.
If you want something cool and breathable with just a little lift, this mesh bralette is it. You're welcome.
Psst…love our recs? Follow @skimmshopping on Instagram for more products, gifts, and services that are actually worth the hype (and the price tag).
Skimm Scripts
Where we literally give you the words you need to get things done.
How to Deal With Confrontation When You Hate Conflict
Who's going to tell that one friend who never pays anyone back that it's finally time she chips in? You, that's who. These scripts will get you started.
Written by Sami Roberts and Claudia Rupcich, Edited by Maria McCallen and Karell Roxas.
Fact-checked by Jordan Mamone.
Photos by iStock, Brand Partners, Jennifer Holman
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This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute a medical opinion, medical advice, or diagnosis or treatment of any particular condition. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Products you buy through our links may earn us a commission.
*PS: This is a sponsored post.
†This information is intended for U.S. residents only. Fertility Out Loud is sponsored by Ferring Pharmaceuticals Inc.
