Our butts might be dead

Plus, how to deal with confrontation — even when you hate it.
skimm_well
Together with
Logo reads: Fertility Out Loud
 
 
Well, Well, Well...
A woman getting a mammogram with a medical provider standing behind her

Catch up on the latest health news, tips, and trends.

A new study highlights what happens when women get false positives from their mammograms. Spoiler: It's not good — especially as breast cancer rates rise for AAPI women.


Alarmed by all the mosquito headlines lately? Here's how to protect yourself. Excuse us while we drench ourselves in bug spray.


In case you need a sign to negotiate your medical bill, this is it. Making the dreaded call is worth it.


If one of your intrusive thoughts is about how cell phone use could be linked to brain cancer, we have good news. If only the rest of the studies were this positive.


It's not in your head — millennials look younger than Gen Z because they might actually be doing things to age slower. But don't ask us if we feel young.

 
We Have To Talk About…
A woman laying in bed at night scrolling on her phone

When Functional Freeze Is Your Only Form of Self-Care

POV: You're going through the motions and checking things off your to-do list, but mentally, you're paralyzed. You spend your limited free time "resting" by bed-rotting and scrolling. If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with a functional freeze. It's not a clinical term or diagnosis, but it's what happens when stress piles up and sends you into a "freeze response" that's hard to come out of, says Angela Neal-Barnett, PhD, a psychologist and professor at Kent State University.

It may feel like you're taking care of yourself, but freezing isn't self-care — and staying in this state long-term can hurt your health.

I thought I was just being lazy.

Is it lazy to be so stressed that you have nothing left to give yourself? Functional freeze is a result of trauma or stress — whether it's one big stressor or many little ones — that forces you to dissociate and go on autopilot. It's like a survival tactic: "Our brain is protecting us," says Neal-Barnett.

It can happen to people who juggle multiple responsibilities daily (see: women everywhere). Moms, caregivers, or anyone doing significant emotional labor may be particularly at risk, says Neal-Barnett.

But I can handle it. 

It probably seems that way. Functional freeze is what Neal-Barnett calls a "maladaptive coping mechanism." Untreated chronic stress can put you at greater risk of digestive issues, high blood pressure, and heart disease (the number one cause of death in women, FYI), to name a few. There may also be "low levels of depression and anxiety" underneath a functional freeze, she says. So even if you can technically handle it, living in this state isn't sustainable.

Your move

Thank your brain for doing its best. But you deserve real self-care. Try these strategies for reconnecting with the present and addressing your mental health: 

  • Treat yourself to some true self-care by doing breathwork, relaxing, and just enjoying something that connects you with other people.

  • Connect with your senses. Neal-Barnett recommends the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself.

  • Take something (or things) off your plate by reprioritizing or saying "no" from the get-go. Easier said than done, we know. 

  • Ask for help. Turning to your partner or family member for support will remove some stress — and ultimately help you feel more like yourself. 

  • See a professional. Treat your mental health like your physical health. If something hurts, it's time to seek an expert.

 
Ask An Expert
A woman pulling hair off her hairbrush

Last week, we asked you to vote on a question to answer. The winner was:

How do I know if my hair loss is normal or something worse?

Holman says it's normal to lose about 100 hairs a day, so a certain amount of hair in the shower or on your brush is considered normal.

But you should call a dermatologist if:

  • Your scalp is scaling, or itchy, or you notice redness around the follicles

  • You notice hair loss in circular, shiny bald patches 

Keep reading to see why you may go through periods of excessive shedding.

 
Tell Us

Which question should an expert answer in the future?

Have a question you want answered by an expert? Ask anonymously here. You can read our past answers here.

 
Let's Get Loud
Together with
Logo reads: Fertility Out Loud
A gif of Instagram poll answers popping up on a purple background, answering the question: What's one thing you wish more people knew about fertility treatment?

We asked Skimm'rs what they wish people knew about going through fertility treatment, and we're incredibly grateful for all the responses we received. Many expressed how unpredictable the process was for them, while others shared their frustration about how long it can take to get answers. If any of that sounds familiar, Fertility Out Loud can help. They offer relatable and informative guidance for anyone navigating their fertility journey — plus a space to share your story and connect with others who get it. Join the community.

 
Skimm Picks

Here are today's recs for a life well-lived.

This cooling roller works to sculpt your neck while distributing serum that hydrates, tightens, and brightens.


Here's a thing we bet you never knew you needed: an allover body deodorant. The cream formula is aluminum-free and dries to an invisible finish.


If you want something cool and breathable with just a little lift, this mesh bralette is it. You're welcome.


This sleek lunch container has dividers and two layers to keep your entree and sides fresh. It's one of our all-time favorite meal planning tools.

 
Skimm Scripts
Two women holding mugs having a conversation on a couch

Where we literally give you the words you need to get things done.

How to Deal With Confrontation When You Hate Conflict

Who's going to tell that one friend who never pays anyone back that it's finally time she chips in? You, that's who. These scripts will get you started.

 
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Teal Quotes

"Dead butt syndrome"

A hilarious name for a not-so-hilarious condition. But(t) there are ways to bring it back to life.

 
 

Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post