Sweet Dreams Are Made of Cheese |
At the end of the day, everybody's chasing something. It might be using you, or it might be getting used by you, as the Eurhythmics once sang. More likely, it's a nice bit of cheese and some lovely crackers. That's what life so often comes down to in the end. Speaking of sweet dreams, we're now eight days from the election. So you can expect our cheddlines to increasingly obsess over the minor details about this, and try not to, between now and then: Who am I to disagree? —Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor P.S. We've got a robotic emotional support owl on our Instagram! |
|
|
"Beyoncé: Thank you for reminding us to never feel confined to other people's perspective of what our lane is." — Kamala Harris |
|
|
1. LaGuardia Airport Somehow Named America's Best: Sure, Why Not? |
Forbes Travel Guide has named LaGuardia Airport, once a laughingstock, as America's best, following its $8 billion renovation. Former New York governor Andrew Cuomo—also a laughingstock, though not in a very funny way—started the renovation back in 2016, proving that just because he was forced from office for sexual harassment, he still knew a thing or two about putting lipstick on a pig.
The Delta One lounge at John F. Kennedy International Airport is also the Best U.S. Airline Lounge, apparently, but, sadly, my Priority Pass, which I got free with my Chase Sapphire Reserve credit card, doesn't get me in there. It's usually good for the mediocre ones only. That's why I call it my Priority P-ass.
LaGuardia's crowning is part of Forbes's first luxury air travel awards, based on input from 5,000 "luxury travel experts," they claim, highlighting LaGuardia's transformation from one of the nation's most criticized airports to…well. In 2014, Joe Biden, who was then vice president, said: "If I took you and blindfolded you and took you to LaGuardia Airport in New York, you'd think, 'I must be in some third-world country.'"
If Joe Biden blindfolded me and took me anywhere, I'd probably hope assume I was being indoctrinated into an Eyes Wide Shut situation, possibly involving Andrew Cuomo, Anthony Weiner, and the guy from Q-Anon, not a "third-world country" (many of which feel more sophisticated and democratic than the so-called first world these days), but still. Then again if you'd told us at the time that Joe Biden would be president in 2020 following the election and people's subsequent "firing" of The Apprentice's Donald Trump, he'd have been surprised as well. Tell him Kamala Harris would knife him in the back in 2024 and that Trump would return, neck-and-neck with her in late October, and likewise. It just goes to show there's no predicting the future based on the past. Unless you're predicting that the rich will get richer in which case, have I got news for you. #NotFinancialAdvice Read More |
|
|
2. Elon Musk Adds $30 Billion to Net Worth in a Day |
Elon "Elon Musk" Musk added the cost of 3.75 LaGuardia renovations to his net worth in a single day last week after Tesla's stock price surged 22% following surprisingly robust profits despite a year of underwhelming earnings.
Investor confidence was buoyed by Musk's optimistic forecast during Tesla's earnings call, where he projected a vehicle sales growth of 20% to 30% in the next year. I predict that I'll get 20% to 30% taller in the next year, likewise. But that won't buoy your confidence in me, will it? #Investors
Musk also announced that Tesla's much-anticipated, allegedly bulletproof Cybertruck had turned a quarterly profit for the first time, signaling the company's seemingly bulletproof capacity to resolve production challenges.
Musk's personal fortune now stands at $270.3 billion, largely fueled by Tesla's stock, which comprises three-quarters of his wealth. His holdings in SpaceX, social media platform X, and AI venture xAI have also contributed to his financial ascent.
During the earnings call, Musk confidently stated his Randian self-belief that Tesla is poised to become the most valuable company in the world. Central to Tesla's strategy is its foray into autonomous driving. His "Cybercab" robo-taxis could see production numbers in the millions by as early as 2026. He acknowledged regulatory challenges but remained upbeat about Tesla's potential to dominate the autonomous vehicle market, perhaps because if he gets his plan, he'll literally own the U.S. government by then. I'm sure it's fine. Read More |
|
|
| But why is this the real-life Tamagotchi? IYKYK
Casio's new AI-powered robot pet, Moflin, is here to offer more than just a fuzzy ball of cuteness. This little companion uses AI to learn and form a bond with its owner through unique sounds and movements. Available for preorder at ¥59,400 ($398), Moflin launches on November 7, two days after the election, which is purely coincidental.
Could this be your next cuddly mental health buddy? |
|
|
3. "Supernatural Occurrences" Await at a 'Beetlejuice' House on Airbnb in New Jersey |
I've been off Airbnb ever since I realized they decimate the affordable housing market for local people in cities around the world and refuse to take responsibility for having done so, and Bloomberg also reported that they were using ex-CIA staff to do really bad things.
Anyway! Airbnb is now offering a unique opportunity to visit the iconic Deetz Residence, famous from the movie "Beetlejuice," in Princeton, New Jersey. (Nope, not Vermont, like in the movie.) Let's hope all the nasty surprises are planned, though, eh? I mean rather than the "get me the ex-CIA fixer" kind.
An actor playing Delia Deetz, the Beetlejuice character known for her artistic and haunted gatherings, is "hosting" the event at her "home," in Princeton, which is preserved just as it was in the film. This includes her renowned artwork and, of course, a mysterious portal to the afterlife. The event offers ten three-hour bookings between November 16 and 27, accommodating up to six guests per session. During their visit, guests can explore Delia's extraordinarily designed home, admire the artwork, and possibly encounter supernatural occurrences, especially if they dare to say "Beetlejuice" three times. Adventures may lead guests from a glowing green light in the afterlife to a disorienting hallway filled with potentially perilous doors.
The experience culminates with an art class hosted by Delia, where guests can explore their creativity. Before it gets too late, Delia's assistant will escort guests out to prevent any "spiritual difficulties." Guests who book the experience also receive a complimentary one-night stay at a nearby Airbnb in New Jersey, and I'm sure that won't hold any nasty surprises, whatsoever. Read More |
|
|
Only 2 Days Left to Invest in Elf Labs
|
Time is running out! With just two days left to invest, this is your final chance to be part of Elf Labs' revolutionary journey—the last day to invest is October 30th!
Elf Labs is turning the entertainment, licensing, and gaming world upside down with their cutting-edge technology. Forget headsets—Elf Labs is creating hyper-realistic 3D experiences accessible to anyone with just a smartphone. They've seamlessly combined over 10 patents to bridge the gap between the physical and digital in ways that will forever change how we interact with entertainment.
And that's not all. After securing 100+ historic trademark victories, Elf Labs owns rights to some of the most iconic, highest-grossing characters in history—like Cinderella and Snow White. Now, Elf Labs is breathing new life into these beloved characters through their innovative technology, bringing them into the modern digital age.
This is your last chance to invest. By October 30th, the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of this tech revolution will be gone.
Elf Labs is about to transform the entertainment industry, and with only two days left to secure your stake, now is the time to act. Don't wait until it's too late!
Disclosure: This is a paid advertisement for Elf Lab's Regulation CF offering. Invest Now Before It's Gone! |
|
|
4. Bey-Hive Meets K-Hive as Beyoncé Appears at Harris Rally in Houston |
Beyoncé made waves in the political scene late last week by headlining a Kamala Harris rally in Houston. With a mutual admiration between the two, the pop icon's involvement is significant, considering her 2016 hit "Freedom" was featured in Harris's initial campaign video. Fans saw an electrifying performance, alongside artists like Willie Nelson. The rally was part of the final push leading up to the election, marked by an increase in celebrity endorsements and appearances aimed at rallying support and voter engagement.
"Beyoncé: Thank you for reminding us to never feel confined to other people's perspective of what our lane is," Harris wrote on Twitter back in March when the artist issued her country album. "You have redefined a genre and reclaimed country music's Black roots. Your music continues to inspire us all."
Beyoncé, a Houston native, is no stranger to political events, having previously supported presidential candidates like Obama, Clinton, and Biden. Celebrity endorsements have been rife in this election. On the one hand? Bruce Springsteen Taylor Swift. Willie Nelson. Beyoncé. On the other? Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan. I'm sure they've swayed you, either way. Right? Read More |
|
|
5. Business Behind Big Tech Brands Launches Successful IPO |
Ingram Micro's shares jumped 15% last week on the stock's second initial public offering since 1995—after having last been bought out by a Chinese firm and taken private, back in 2016. The firm is now worth $6.6 billion, or approximately a fifth of the amount of money Elon Musk added to his net worth in a single day last week, or about 2.5 percent of Elon's total net worth. This is a company that's been going since 1979, remember, so maybe one day they'll catch up.
Ingram Micro is primarily known as a technology product distributor, providing services that enable tech and IT vendors to get their products into retail stores. Customers include Apple and Microsoft. Ingram also operates in various tech-centric domains, including cloud computing and cybersecurity. Basically, they're one of those mysterious tech companies that do essential things we never totally understand, and make a ton of money doing so.
CFO Michael Zilis told us the firm has 161,000 customers around the world. (Are you one? Maybe! Who would know anyway?) The new cloud computing and digital services "empower our people to bring more value in the technology supply chain," he said. "We're at the center of the technology universe, we like to say. And another log line that we, you often hear us say is, you never have a day without Ingram Micro. People don't know us because we're sort of the business behind the brands, but we are everywhere."
Sounds like someone just got blindfolded and taken to LaGuardia! Read More |
|
|
| So, What Do You Think of Cheddar?
|
We want to hear from you! From shows to site to this very newsletter, we'd love some feedback. |
|
|
|
