The Name Is Cheddar; Ever Urda Me? |
Urda, as we all know, is a type of Balkan whey cheese whose specific recipe is passed from generation to generation in many households, the way that in America we hand down wealth and opportunity to our Nepo Babies as a value enshrined in our unwritten Constitution. In Romanian cooking, Urda is often used to make desserts such as clătită and plăcintă, and I don't know about you, but I love me a slice of plăcintă after supper. Today's news you Need2Know hinges on the value of your reputation preceding you. Or you preceding your reputation. And how, perhaps, a reputation isn't what it used to be: "I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial." (Cassio, from Othello, by William Shakespeare; Act II scene 3). —Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor |
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"They're not meant to replace physical human labor. They're meant to enhance social interaction." — Andrew Kiguel |
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1. TikTok Says It Might Shut Down in a Week ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
You know what I hate? TikTok. And it appears the majority of the United States Supreme Court does, too, along with Congress and your mom. That means you might need to find another app to mindlessly doomscroll a week from now, because I've had enough of it. Or you could just give your mom a call—she'd appreciate it, she told me on the group chat.
On Friday the court heard arguments over a law poised to ban TikTok unless it is sold by its China-based parent company. SCOTUS sounded like they're ready to uphold that law and ban that app. Congress enacted the law because they're concerned the app, whose owner is, as we may have mentioned, based in China, is susceptible to the influence of the Chinese government and therefore poses a national security risk. TikTok has wheeled out hundreds of Americans who love the app to try to persuade Congress not to send it to a farm upstate. They're emphasizing free speech and the First Amendment. People have made money on TikTok, they say. Fetch me the needle, says Congress.
While the justices asked their usual tricksy questions of both sides, the overall thrust appeared more skeptical toward the lawyers for TikTok. For example, Justice Brett "Hold My Beer" Kavanaugh focused on the risk that the Chinese government could use information that TikTok is gathering on American teenagers to eventually "develop spies, turn people, blackmail people" when they grow older. And if there's anyone who knows about stuff you did or didn't do as a teen coming back to haunt you later? It's our Brett. Read More |
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2. People Got Lots of Jobs in December, So Naturally the Stock Market Dropped |
If I were to ask you what a strong labor market would do to the stock market, your answer, I'm guessing, would be to say: "If people have jobs, that's good, so stocks go up." Right?
Unh-unh. (That was the buzzer from Family Feud saying "wrong answer.")
In a Muskian/Zuckerbergian display of economic might, the U.S. ushered in 256,000 new jobs in the month of December, the Labor Department announced on Friday. The surge in nonfarm payroll employment exceeded expectations by over 100,000 and represented the most significant increase since last March. The stock market took a dive as a result because that's what stock markets do when economies are strong, I guess? In fact, the Dow is now on pace to give up all its gains since the November election.
The numbers show the American labor market has not only rebounded from its mid-year dip but is possibly accelerating. That firmly closes any considerations for an interest-rate cut at the upcoming Federal Reserve meeting slated for January 28–29, and similarly diminishes the likelihood of monetary easing in their March gathering. Markets had been pinning their hopes on both.
The stock market's downturn suggests investors are more attuned to the implications the robust jobs figures hold for the Federal Reserve's actions rather than the immediate strength of the U.S. economy itself. Still, if you're looking for a job, it's good news? Read More |
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| It's a robot party! 🤖🎉
Check out Unitree's latest robots at @ces 2025—the G1 humanoid and Go2 robot dog, doing everything from handstands to making breakfast. No "emotional intimacy," sadly. |
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3. Trump Sentenced to Nothing in Hush Money Case |
Donald J. Trump, the president-elect, has been granted an unconditional discharge by Justice Juan M. Merchan in New York, following his conviction on 34 felony counts related to falsifying business records connected to a hush money scandal.
The decision, a rarity in the landscape of New York state court rulings, deviates significantly from conventional sentencing in cases of felony convictions. Typically, a convicted felon might face imprisonment or, as an alternative, probation accompanied by specific conditions such as maintaining employment or paying restitution. In the case of this particular felon, however, the decision absolves him of any such concerns. The sentencing means that while Trump retains the label of Convicted Felon™, he does not face any real consequences, just like this newsletter. If you're talking to your kids about the sentence, what are they saying?
Justice Merchan's decision was foreshadowed in an 18-page document released last week, where he indicated his inclination towards granting an unconditional discharge, citing it as "the most viable solution to ensure finality."
The sentence comes on the back of a conviction where Trump faced allegations of falsifying business records to conceal payments made during a sex scandal. The potential sentences for such convictions ranged widely, from probation to up to four years in prison. A third of defendants convicted on comparable charges in Manhattan received some jail time, albeit less than a year, according to a New York Times analysis. Other sentences ranged from more extended prison terms to probation, conditional discharges, and even community service or fines. Nobody else got an unconditional discharge. Read More |
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4. Is AI-Powered Intimacy the Future Of Human Relationships? Or Just Mine? |
TL;DR? No.
However! The Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas was a platform for groundbreaking technology, and among the most captivating innovations were AI-powered humanoid robots designed for emotional connection.
These robots, showcased by companies like Realbotix, are redefining our perception of human-robot interaction. An AI and robotics company, Realbotix introduced its latest creation, Melody, a humanoid robot with remarkably realistic features. (I can't help myself here thinking of Bladerunner or the House Oversight Committee, where robots are almost indistinguishable from people.) Equipped with micro cameras in her eyes, Melody can track human movement, maintain eye contact, recognize facial expressions, and—we're pretty sure—murder silently (if you pay for the upgrade).
"They're not meant to replace physical human labor. They're meant to enhance social interaction," said Andrew Kiguel, CEO of Realbotix.
Melody's ability to mimic human emotions, from subtle smiles to complex emotional displays, sets her apart from other robots, Andrew said.
While the concept of artificial companions may raise a human eyebrow, it also offers a potential solution to social isolation. As technology advances, robots like Melody may play an increasingly significant role in our lives.
The cost is significant, with Melody starting at $150,000. But if your friends think it's weird that you spent $150K on a Melody, Realbotix also offers male models, so you could spend $150K on a "Hank." And then I'm sure the jokes at your expense would cease, forthwith. Read More |
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5. Big Tech Companies Continue Donations to Trump |
Google has donated $1 million to President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration, joining other tech giants in contributing to an administration that will preside over Google's pivotal antitrust case. Alongside the financial support, Google will also utilize YouTube, the world's second-most popular website, to live-stream the inauguration and feature a direct link on its homepage.
Other major tech figures and companies such as Amazon, Meta, Uber, and executives like OpenAI's Sam Altman and Apple's Tim Cook have also ponied up $1 million each to Trump's inauguration. They also knelt at Trump's feet and begged to call him "Godfather" on the day of his daughter's wedding. Wait. That's just a Francis Ford Coppola–inspired hallucination I had. Ignore.
Under the current Biden administration, the Justice Department has taken legal action against Google, demanding major changes, including the potential divestment of Chrome due to what a federal court termed an illegal monopoly in online search. The incoming Trump administration, however, has shown skepticism about the idea of breaking up the company and could approach the situation…differently. And now I can think of a million more reasons why.
Google's relationship with Trump has been complex; despite previous criticism of Trump by Google executives, there appears to be an effort to foster a positive relationship ahead of Trump's second term. Google's history of promoting inaugural events includes previous donations of $285,000 to Trump's first inauguration and $337,500 to Biden's inauguration. I know because I asked Bing. Read More |
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