Is Nothing Sacred? | In Stephen Crane's 1897 short story, "The Open Boat," the phrase "sacred cheese" is a recurring motif that symbolizes a marooned crew's desperate yearning for life and the elusiveness of their hopes for survival. It's also existential, the metaphor, because if you think about it, we humans are a lot like mice. We simply struggle for cheddar, and no matter how much we get, we still die. Is there more to it? There better brie! |  | "The Gulf Stream" (1899), by Winslow Homer |
| Also, it seems nothing is indeed sacred. Somebody is suing the Girl Scouts over their cookies! | Today's cheddlines you need2know | | Sacré bleu. | —Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor | P.S. An American Airlines jet caught fire at Denver Airport last week and you can see footage on our instagram. | | Quote of the Day | | ❝ | | | I just couldn't believe that there was no quick, easy-to-use tool that was also affordable to validate or vet somebody online. | | | | — Kalie Nitzsche, not to be confused with Friedrich Nietzsche, who as far as we know did not date online |
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| | Should You Check Your 401(k) Today? | 👎 | (nope) | | Judge orders federal workers reinstated | | The Trump administration must reverse its sweeping dismissals and reinstate tens of thousands of federal workers, say two rulings delivered by two separate judges last Thursday. It's a major pushback against President Trump and Elon Musk's initiative to radically downsize the government workforce. | U.S. District Court Judges James Bredar and William H. Alsup ordered the reinstatement of many federal employees previously fired under Trump's initiative. The rulings affect workers with probationary status from 19 agencies, including crucial departments like Defense, Treasury, Veterans Affairs, and Interior. | Judge Bredar's ruling, from Maryland, halts further "reductions in force" for two weeks, offering temporary relief for the impacted departments. In California, Judge Alsup's decision was based on the determination that the Trump administration had unlawfully fired probationary workers by fiat via the Office of Personnel Management—normally, only agencies have the authority for broad personnel changes. Alsup's ruling is a preliminary injunction, buying time while a final decision is reached. Bredar's mandate goes even further, ordering the immediate reinstatement of workers, with administrative leave as an acceptable temporary measure. | The orders came amid broader legal battles, with 19 state attorneys general filing lawsuits against the administration's practice of dismissing employees. Judge Bredar called the government's assertion that firings were for cause "frivolous," reflecting the judges' sentiment that the dismissals were a sham to sidestep statutory requirements. | The federal worker unions, reinforced by judges' assertions, have suggested that the administration used loopholes and deceptive practices to unjustifiably terminate employees, with Judge Alsup labeling the government's actions as gimmicks and "a sham." | The Trump administration wasted no time in appealing Judge Alsup's decision to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. | | | Girl Scout cookies hit with lawsuit | | In what seems like a story plucked from a dystopian reality novel, the iconic Girl Scouts cookies face a lawsuit emerges that threatens to crumble our sweet impressions. The lawsuit alleges that our beloved snacks, Thin Mints in particular, are laced with heavy metals and toxic substances. The Girl Scouts organization has steadfastly defended the safety and compliance of their cookies. | The lawsuit, initiated by New York resident Amy Mayo, accuses the Girl Scouts of America, along with cookie manufacturers Ferrero U.S.A. and Interbake Foods (operated under ABC Bakers), of selling products that contain harmful levels of heavy metals and pesticides. The allegations stem from a study by Moms Across America and GMO Science, which reported finding substances like aluminum, arsenic, cadmium, lead, and mercury in the cookies. The controversy deepened when the study, lacking peer review and scientific publication, was propelled into the limelight by Joe Rogan, amplifying its claims to his vast audience and stirring a viral sensation across social media platforms. | Critics of the study point to its small sample size and the comparison of detected substance levels to Environmental Protection Agency's water safety standards, rather than applicable food safety regulations by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. These methodologies raise eyebrows and questions about the legitimacy of the scare, yet they haven't prevented the lawsuit from demanding millions in damages and a major overhaul in the packaging and marketing of the cookies. | Championing the quality of their products, the Girl Scouts affirm that the cookies meet rigorous food safety standards set by the FDA, EPA, and other agencies. They cite natural occurrences of the contested substances in many foods due to environmental factors, emphasizing that these trace amounts do not pose a health risk. | Frankly, I don't care if they kill me. Give a couple of boxes of Samoas already. I'm jonesing! | | | From @cheddar |  | cheddar760K followers | |
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| | | Who are your dating matches, anyway? | | We live in an increasingly digital world, where connecting with others online has become the norm—and meeting in real life utterly terrifying. Whether it's for romance, buying and selling goods, even hiring help, or all of the above simultaneously, the internet offers a plethora of opportunities. However, this digital landscape also presents a dark side: the ease with which individuals can misrepresent themselves. For instance, you believe this reasonably high-quality newsletter is written by a 45-year-old Brit with a "journalism" degree. But the truth? You can't handle it, Cheddheads. | Kalie Nitzsche, the CEO of Fuzzy, an online verification app, recently shed light on all this at South by Southwest. Nitzsche's motivation for creating Fuzzy stems from a personal experience. As a divorced single mother ready to re-enter the dating scene, she encountered someone online who fabricated his entire identity, including his name, profession, education, and marital status. The deception unfolded over eight months, involving family introductions and discussions about the future, only to be revealed through a Facebook group dedicated to women's safety. This eye-opening experience led Nitzsche to question the lack of accessible tools to validate online identities. "I just couldn't believe that there was no quick, easy-to-use tool that was also affordable to validate or vet somebody online," she said. And now there is! | There are 60 million people on dating apps with a potential 50% being catfished and 1 in 10 profiles being completely fake. So Nitzsche put those numbers into her business plan. | Fuzzy employs AI, drawing from a "neuropsychiatry perspective" to analyze text messages and profile information and identify potential indicators of narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies. The AI analysis is then combined with publicly accessible data, criminal records, and social media footprint analysis to determine an individual's authenticity. Utilizing Automated Deception Discovery, a patented technology, allows Fuzzy to flag inconsistencies and provide a confidence score regarding a person's claims. The results are generated rapidly, typically in five to eight seconds. | Nitzsche also addressed the stigma associated with looking people up online. While it's often viewed as "stalking," she argues that research and data highlight the necessity of such due diligence in today's dating world. The staggering statistic that 73% of dating app users have experienced some form of sexual violence or assault underscores the urgency for tools like Fuzzy. A staggering $75 billion has been lost over the last four years to "pig butchering" scams, where individuals build trust over time to then exploit their victims financially, often through cryptocurrency. | Fuzzy offers a quick, easy, and affordable way to perform a "digital gut check," providing a layer of due diligence in various everyday scenarios. Furthermore, Nitzsche envisions potential B2B applications, such as verifying 1099 employees or contractors, offering a more accessible alternative to traditional, costly background checks. | | | Andy Roddick's got an app now, too! | | Andy Roddick was famous for his powerful serves and remarkable career as a world No. 1 men's tennis player (for 13 weeks) and U.S. Open champion. Beyond his achievements on the court, Roddick has now transitioned into the world of entrepreneurship and philanthropy, co-founding Viewfy and establishing the imaginatively named Andy Roddick Foundation. | Roddick's recent panel at South by Southwest, titled "Serving Innovation" (a pun!) delved into his new ventures. Viewfy is a diagnostic tool developed by top-tier surgeons, accessible through a smartphone. Roddick explained that the genesis of Viewfy arose from a conversation during the COVID-19 pandemic with Josh Dines, his long-time doctor for the Davis Cup team and a renowned orthopedic surgeon. Dr. Dines shared his frustration with trying to diagnose orthopedic sports injuries remotely via video calls, highlighting the inadequacy of asking patients to "back up, move forward, raise this arm." It sparked the idea for a more effective solution. | Viewfy aims to democratize access to best-in-class sports medicine. Roddick emphasized that geography, cost, and quality often dictate the level of care individuals receive. Roddick wished a tool like Viewfy had existed during his playing days. He recalled flying to New York annually for expert consultation, a process that was time-consuming and inaccessible to most. Viewfy strives to bridge this gap by providing access to the same level of expertise at scale and at a reduced cost. | The functionality of Viewfy is noteworthy. It's an asynchronous diagnostic tool. Users describe their symptoms and go through a series of 500 peer-reviewed tests on their phone, guided by prompts like "back up" and with a green light indicator when they are in the correct position. The results are then sent to a sports medicine doctor for review. This eliminates the need for immediate scheduling and in-person appointments, saving time and resources. Roddick highlighted the rigorous two-year development process, which involved extensive efforts to ensure the credibility of the tool. He acknowledged that diagnosing musculoskeletal injuries remotely might seem unconventional but emphasized the thoroughness of the approach. | The Andy Roddick Foundation also focuses on serving underprivileged children during out-of-school time and summer programs. But who wants to hear about that, huh? | | | The wildest Liquid Death marketing stunts | | | Liquid Death has carved a unique space in the beverage industry, not just through its tallboy cans of dihydrogen monoxide (better known as "water"), but with its bold and often absurd marketing stunts. According to Dan Murphy, SVP of marketing, standing out without billions of dollars requires putting something out there that people love—and for Liquid Death, that's (wait for it) comedy. Speaking at South by Southwest, Murphy shed light on the brand's philosophy and some of its most memorable campaigns. | "We mirror places that do comedy well," Dan said. "So yeah, we have a small group of folks that in previous lives were paid to be funny. They come from Adult Swim. They wrote for The Onion. We have a distributed network of working, headlining standup comics in America that pop in on a Zoom and help punch things up and push around ideas." | When asked about a personal favorite stunt, Murphy pointed to the giveaway of a jet last year. He described it as "so ambitious... wild. It had the Liquid Death logic. We're not giving away a jet because it's a wild fun thing. It's to dehydrate you, given the Gs and the speeds that it pulls so that you have to buy more Liquid Death." | "Taking Tony Hawk's blood, painting skateboards, and selling those skateboards was pretty nuts," he said. | Looking to the future, Liquid Death sees itself as somewhat of an entertainment company. | "We're gonna keep doing what we do. Like, 'Saturday Night Live' has been on the air for 50 years because they can bring in new people, they can riff off of culture, and we're doing the same," he said. "We're putting funny, shareable stuff in your feed that the press has to write about." | Also: It's water. Think about that. Water with marketing. Me, I'll stick to Evian. | | | | Want more Cheddar? Watch us! | Search "Cheddar" on Samsung, YouTube TV, and most other streaming platforms. | N2K is the tip of of the cheeseberg for financial news, interviews, and more. | |
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