In normal times, I'd probably lead today's edition with some story that seemed like an April Fool's joke, but was actually a real story. The NFL owners butting heads over whether the Tush Push is ass backwards or a real kick in the pants would work. Maybe I'd offer up baseball's new and potentially controversial Torpedo bats as a kicker. But these aren't normal times, and I'm not just saying that because in the 2025 news cycle it's impossible to tell whether a headline is an April Fool's joke or not. At least one Democratic politician is reminding Americans that nothing about this is normal and we're in an emergency. Cory Booker has been holding the Senate floor since last night, delivering a marathon speech and says he "will speak for as long as I’m physically able to lift the voices of Americans who are being harmed and not being heard in this moment of crisis." At one point, Booker, who has been attacking the Musk/Trump policies, explained: "He promised to lower your grocery prices - they're higher. Over and over he's breaking promises and doing outrageous things like disappearing people off American streets. Do we see what's happening? How much is enough?" He's required to stand and take no bathroom breaks to maintain his hold of the floor. (Full disclosure: Cory Booker is a friend of mine, we're men of roughly the same age, and I've had to pee about 35 times since he started his speech.) Will this speech change everything? No. But we are desperate for leaders to remind us that this is all not OK, and more importantly, that people should have the guts to not sit by silently while it's happening. As of my writing, just after the 18 hour mark, he's still going.
2Admin ToolsSadly, this lede is also not an April Fool's joke: "The Trump administration acknowledged in a court filing Monday that it had grabbed a Maryland father with protected legal status and mistakenly deported him to El Salvador, but said that U.S. courts lack jurisdiction to order his return from the megaprison where he’s now locked up." The Atlantic (Gift Article): An ‘Administrative Error’ Sends a Maryland Father to a Salvadoran Prison. From the man's attorney: "They claim that the court is powerless to order any relief. If that’s true, the immigration laws are meaningless—all of them—because the government can deport whoever they want, wherever they want, whenever they want, and no court can do anything about it once it’s done." 3Three Dimensional Chess"To many viewers, these details spotlight a common experience: Sometimes you regress when you’re with the people you’ve known the longest. Being reminded of a long-tucked-away facet of your personality can be one of the upsides of long-term friendship. But old friends can also bring back long-abandoned self-doubt and unhealthy patterns that can leave you with that ick feeling.'" The tense relationship among three friends traveling together in this season's White Lotus is bringing up a lot of feelings for people (who somehow didn't get the memo that three is the most dangerous number for traveling). NYT: Why Old Friends Bring Out Our Worst Teenage Selves. (I've basically had the same friend group since elementary school. At some point we realized that what we all share in common is an inability to make new friends.) 4Shrink Rap"For many Texas therapists, this isn’t a laughing matter. It’s reminiscent of real conversations they’ve had recently. Since Donald Trump retook the White House, crisis lines won’t stop ringing, clinicians’ calendars have been filled in like ballots, and long-term clients have eschewed unpacking domestic matters in favor of discussing the national news." Texas Monthly: You're Driving Your Therapists Mad Talking About Trump. (I used to talk about the news with my therapist in order to avoid talking about the deep, disturbing problems that haunt my unconscious. Now I talk about that stuff to avoid thinking about the news.)
5Extra, ExtraBallot Boxing: "The first major elections of President Donald Trump’s second term will take place Tuesday as voters head to the polls in Wisconsin, a perennial battleground, and in Trump-friendly territory in Florida." What to watch as Wisconsin and Florida host the first major elections of Trump's second term. 6Bottom of the NewsAll April Fool's stories should have come to halt in 1985 when the best one of all time was published by George Plimpton in SI: The Curious Case Of Sidd Finch. The clue was right there in the first letter of each word of the sub-head: "He's a pitcher, part yogi and part recluse. Impressively liberated from our opulent life-style, Sidd's deciding about yoga—and his future in baseball."
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