Nov 04, 2024

Move Along, People…Nothing to Seastack Here

As we all know, Seastack is a mold-ripened cow's milk cheese made by Mt. Townsend Creamery at Port Townsend, Washington. Named for the well-known rock formations along Washington's coastline (and not to be confused with this), this semi-lactic cheese is dusted in vegetable ash and sea salt to boost its appearance. The ripened areas develop garlicky, earthy flavor while the inner, less ripe paste has a bright citrus flavor and a firm texture. It's complex, in other words, just like this newsletter.

Meanwhile, the stock market is acting more spooked than a Cold War spy who just found out his networks are blown in East Berlin. It fell last Thursday, then the jobs numbers were terrible, but the market still rose to recover its losses on news that Amazon made more money than analysts expected. It's because apparently this week there's a thing called an "election." An anonymous Frenchman also told the Wall Street Journal he bet $30 million on a Trump victory because he has "absolutely no political agenda," which I'm sure is 100% "vrai" as they say en français. The cheddlines:

Alright move along, people.

—Matt Davis, N2K Chedditor

P.S. We've got a robot walking around and sorting stuff out, on our 'gram.

Quote of the Day

"These are some of the cheeses, or most of them, that got nicked." — Jamie Oliver

Read the story

1. Apple Sold $46 Billion Worth of iPhones Over Summer; Apparently, AI Helped

I finally upgraded to the iPhone 16 Pro Max on Thursday for two reasons. One, I had food poisoning (don't soft-boil your eggs) and wanted to feel better about something. Anything. Two, I've got an iPhone 12 Pro Max and am starting to feel like a loser for lacking the new AI features in the latest phone. Rather than do a bunch of yoga to realize my inner happiness has nothing to do with which iPhone I have in my pocket, I did the decent thing—the American thing.

There won't be a 17 until late next year, so this is the sweet spot for those of us who want to feel smug for at most 9 months about having the latest technology. Imagine the conversation over Christmas lunch…

Me: Oh, you've only got that iPhone? Well, I've got the latest version, so it sucks to be you.

Everybody else: We're going to have a comfortable retirement.

Exactly. That sort of petty insecurity is probably why Apple reported sales of $46 billion worth of iPhones over the summer, an improvement reversing two consecutive year-over-year declines in the iPhone's quarterly sales. The latest set of results includes the first few days of iPhone 16 sales, and Apple thinks the new AI features — like an ever so slightly better version of Siri, which I have not used in the 96 hours since I bought the phone — will prompt everybody with old phones to upgrade. Read More

2. Employers Added Just 12,000 Jobs Last Month; Apparently, AI Didn't Help

In an unexpected twist, U.S. employers added just 12,000 jobs last month, down from 223,000 in September, marking a significant deceleration in job growth. The downturn is partly due to the impact of the recent hurricanes reverberating through the economy. But it could also signal a cooling just as voters go to the polls with the issue top in their minds.

"The big one-off shocks that struck the economy in October make it impossible to know whether the job market was changing direction in the month," Bill Adams, chief economist at Comerica Bank, wrote in a commentary. "But the downward revisions to job growth through September show it was cooling before these shocks struck."

So is the economy good or bad? No, seriously, we're asking: Is it good or bad? Read More

From @cheddar

The robots are working solo! Boston Dynamics has released a new video featuring its advanced Atlas robot in action, performing sorting tasks independently in a simulated factory setting.

Using advanced sensors and a machine learning vision model, Atlas locates bins, picks up parts, and adapts in real-time to obstacles with minimal human input.

Follow @cheddar on Instagram!

3. Boeing Workers Will Vote on a New Contract Offer to End Strike

Boeing workers are set to vote on a new contract offer, aiming to resolve a strike that has significantly impacted production for more than seven weeks. The outcome of this vote not only affects the future operations of Boeing but could also serve as a bellwether for labor relations in similar industries. The firm's latest offer would raise wages 38% over four years, or a compounded increase of about 43%, the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers said Thursday.

Boeing said the company was also offering a $12,000 contract ratification bonus, up from $7,000 offered previously. Additionally, the company said it would increase its contribution to employee 401(k) plans, but not restore the old pension plans that went away in 2012 after the union bargained them away in exchange for keeping production going. Oopsie-daisy!

I have never been a member of a union. I like the idea in theory, but in practice the people who have tried to persuade me to join have always annoyed me. I'm sure the issue is really that simple and there's no need for any further reading or thought on the matter. Read More

4. British Chef Urges Followers to Help Solve the 'Grate Cheese Robbery'

British cookbook author and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver is asking his social media followers to help solve the mystery of the missing 22 metric tons (48,488 pounds) of award-winning cheddar worth 300,000 British pounds ($390,000) that was stolen in a scam.

Calling it the "grate cheese robbery," Oliver told his 10.5 million Instagram fans to be on the lookout for "lorry loads of very posh cheese."

My editor and I were gravely concerned that this cheese was being mischaracterized as posh; after all, it appeared to be worth just $8 a pound. Give me a nice challerhocker for $35 a pound, or a nice truffle brie for $65. Those are posh. Then we did the merest bit of research and discovered $8 must be the wholesale price. At $45 a pound—the price Neal's Yard cheddar goes for at Murray's Cheese in Manhattan—the "street value" of the stolen cheese is $2.18 million. Okay, that's at least upper-middle-class—about enough for a two-bedroom condo across from Murray's.

Anyway. Nearly 1,000 wheels of cloth-wrapped artisanal cheddar were swiped from Neal's Yard Dairy by a con artist posing as a wholesale distributor for a major French retailer, the company said. The cheese was gone before the company realized it had been scammed and reported the theft Oct. 21.

Apparently, they were all so flattered that the French might want to buy their English cheese, they were blind to the obviousness of the scam. I love this: "If the deal seems too gouda to be true, it probably is! Let's find these cheese stealers," Oliver wrote.

Using gouda in a pun is, obviously, the kindergartner's preserve. I can't brie-lieve it. I camembert it. I mean, please. Here at Cheddar HQ, we have a laboratory and six dozen researchers working round the clock to bring you puns of a higher level.

Cheddar, which is named for the village in southwest England where it originated, is the world's best-known cheese because it does not have the protected status of other regional products like Champagne™ and thus is produced in many countries. But there are only a small number of real British Cheddar makers, Oliver said.

"These are some of the cheeses, or most of them, that got nicked," he said in a video accompanying his post. Read More

5. Amazon Reports Boost in Profits; Apparently, AI Helped

Amazon reported a boost in its quarterly profits last week and exceeded revenue estimates, sending the company's stock up, not down. For the three months that ended on Sept. 30, the Seattle-based tech giant posted revenue of $158.9 billion, higher than the $157.28 billion analysts had expected.

"As we get into the holiday season, we're excited about what we have in store for customers," said Andy "Don't Call Me Jeff" Jassy, Amazon's president and CEO. "We kicked off the holiday season with our biggest-ever Prime Big Deal Days and the launch of an all-new Kindle lineup that is significantly outperforming our expectations; and there's so much more coming."

Amazon Web Services, the company's cloud computing unit and a main driver of its artificial intelligence ambitions, reported a 19% increase in sales to $27.5 billion. The boost in sales comes as the company, like others of its caliber, is ramping up investments in data centers, AI chips and other infrastructure needed to support the technology.

In October Amazon said it was investing in small nuclear reactors, following a similar announcement by Google, as both tech giants seek new sources of carbon-free electricity to meet the surging demand from data centers and generative AI.

During an earnings call Thursday afternoon, Jassy said Amazon is using generative AI "pervasively" across its businesses, including AI-powered shopping in parts of Europe, Canada and the United States. Amazon also recently debuted AI shopping guides for consumers, which help customers to find products, he said, as well as an AI assistant that "offers tailored business insights to boost productivity and drive seller growth."

"The increase bumps here are really driven by generative AI," he said on the call. Read More