Onion Cheddar, as we all know, gives you the taste combination of chives and onions. Its smooth, rich, Cheddar.com flavor is emphasized by the aromatic hardiness of chives. Made by Henning's Wisconsin Cheese, it's good on rye bread with sausages — just like this newsletter! Meanwhile, you've got plenty to cry about with today's cheddlines, both for good reasons and for not-so-good reasons, so you might want to have an excuse handy: Chop, chop! —Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor |
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1. Did Nvidia Mislead Investors on Chip Sales? |
This week the Supreme Court indicated a strong inclination to let a securities fraud lawsuit proceed against Nvidia, despite the AI chipmaker's efforts to throw the matter out of court.
Displaying a rare unanimity in skepticism, the SCOTUS justices seemed poised Wednesday to side with shareholders that have launched a class-action claim against Nvidia, accusing the $4.6 trillion behemoth of misleading investors. The lawsuit alleges that the company hid its dependence on sales to the volatile cryptocurrency market before a crypto crash (remember those!?) tanked the value of its stock. The company denies any wrongdoing but paid $5.5 million in 2022 to settle similar allegations brought by the Securities and Exchange Commission.
"It becomes less and less clear why we took this case…and…why you should win it," Justice Elena Kagan said to Nvidia's attorneys at one point, which (as we all know) is the SCOTUS way of saying "WTF?!"
Nvidia, renowned for its groundbreaking microchips that power everything from the latest gaming consoles to sophisticated AI algorithms, plays a pivotal role in the global tech landscape. A ruling in favor of the shareholders could not only lead to a significant financial toll on Nvidia but also set a precedent that may alter the dynamics of investor-company relations more broadly. That would be nice, eh? Read More |
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2. Live for the Applause: Lady Gaga to Join Netflix's 'Wednesday' |
Lady Gaga, enchantress of pop and Hollywood star, is set to sprinkle her magical charisma on the second season of Netflix's hit series "Wednesday" in its new season. According to Variety, sources close to the production have let slip that the next chapter of the beloved show will feature a cameo from none other than Mother Monster herself.
The thought of Gaga's involvement has sent fans into a frenzy and might even make us forget how awful the recent Joker movie was, assuming we were one of the three people who paid to go and see it. We were not, and that is probably a good thing. I saw her live at the Superdome in New Orleans in 2011, and it was quite the show. Did I care for her opening performance at the recent Olympics in Paris? Non. Pas du tout, but best of luck to her. Read More |
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| Volkswagen's new Emergency Assist feature could be a game changer in the game of saving lives.
If the system detects no steering input for 20 seconds, it sends a reminder for the driver to re-engage. If there's still no response, the car activates small jolts through the brakes and seatbelt to alert the driver. If that doesn't work, Emergency Assist completely takes over, pulling the car to the side, turning on hazard lights, and honking the horn. If you hit a truck in the first 19 seconds, of course, then you're all out of luck. |
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3. Trump Appoints (Checks Notes) Matt Gaetz to Attorney General |
President-elect Donald Trump has tapped former Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.), a staunch supporter and fiery pro-Trump former congressman to serve as the U.S. Attorney General in his upcoming second administration. Gaetz resigned this week before the release of a House Ethics Committee report into allegations that he engaged in sexual misconduct with a 17-year-old girl and engaged in illicit drug use.
The New York Times ran video of its reporters reacting to the breaking news in real time on the homepage of its website Thursday. For a bunch of seen-it-all print reporters, their reactions were the equivalent of spitting out their coffee. Presumably the goal for Trump (ever the strategic communicator) is to show how much he cares about the "rule" of "law" in this country. A majority of Americans voted for this man, so he gets to execute on his vision now!
As Attorney General — a role central to the implementation and enforcement of the Executive Branch's policy — Gaetz would be pivotal in advancing Trump's agenda. Trump has outlined a clear focus for Gaetz: to end what he calls the "partisan weaponization" of justice. Instead, he'll oversee the "partisan weaponization" of justice in the other direction, presumably, if he even gets confirmed.
Gaetz, a lawyer by training, is...not unfamiliar...with the workings of justice; his potential confirmation would see him leading the very agency that previously investigated him. Despite being investigated for sex trafficking and obstruction of justice, the Department of Justice did not bring any charges against him, and Gaetz has vehemently denied all allegations against him. Still, the implications of Gaetz's appointment could be far-reaching. Trump has repeatedly promised to target what he termed as "enemies" within the political landscape, including high-ranking democrats and those involved in his criminal cases. As Attorney General, Gaetz would be in a critical position to influence these potential investigations and proceedings.
The news is a strong signal of Trump's intent to reshape the Justice Department to align closely with his combative and loyalist approach in the mold of, say, Tony Soprano. Vice President-elect (checks notes) JD Vance has even emphasized that the Attorney General would be "the most important person in government" after the President for this administration cycle, highlighting the weight and influence of the position. Gaetz's nomination is now set to ignite a fierce confirmation battle, underscoring the divided opinions about his suitability. Read More |
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4. Satire Publication The Onion buys Alex Jones' Infowars at Auction |
In news that could only make sense in today's topsy-turvy world, The Onion — yes, the renowned satire publication — has become the new owner of Alex Jones' controversial Infowars platform.
Known for its wry wit and spot-on parodies, The Onion has won the bid for the conspiracy theory powerhouse's assets in a bankruptcy auction, a move backed by the families of Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting victims. These are the very families that Jones owes over $1 billion in defamation judgments for falsely claiming the massacre was a staged hoax using "crisis actors" to push for tighter gun control measures.
"The dissolution of Alex Jones' assets and the death of Infowars is the justice we have long awaited and fought for," Robbie Parker, whose daughter Emilie was killed in the 2012 shooting in Connecticut, said in a statement provided by his lawyers.
The Onion announced that Everytown for Gun Safety, a gun violence prevention organization, would step in as its "exclusive launch advertiser." Everytown plans to use the platform to advocate for bipartisan, sensible public safety measures.
Meanwhile, Alex Jones has not taken the news well. He was broadcasting live from the Infowars studio Thursday morning and appeared distraught, putting his head in his hand at his desk. Although the experience probably wasn't as upsetting as losing your child in a school shooting and then having Alex Jones lie about it repeatedly on his stupid website for years. Read More |
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5. 'Good News' for Renters in New York City |
I pay $55,200 in rent every year for a 400-square foot apartment in New York City. I'm not asking for your pity. I love the place; however, the idea that New York City Council's latest measure to require landlords — not renters — to pay broker fees is going to delight me? Nah. It just means landlords will break the cost of those fees into 12 and add them somehow to our next rent increases.
Yay! Progressive policymakers shooting themselves in the foot! Next thing you'll be telling me is Kathy Hochul is bringing back the $9 congestion fee for drivers coming into Manhattan in some sort of last-ditch perverse effort to stick it to Donald Trump and his ilk before he takes office. (Checks notes.) That is also happening? Okay, did y'all not just hear about people complaining that Democrats were out of touch with the financial concerns of everyday people?
Still, the New York City Council passed legislation that prohibits the practice of forcing tenants to pay broker fees for real estate agents hired by landlords. In the past, tenants in NYC could be required to pay commissions of up to 15% of their annual rent, often amounting to around $7,000, to agents who exclusively represent landlords' interests.
$7,000 is money I use to wipe my booty with, people. Just eat it like a Nathan's Hot Dog and move along.
Critics of the bill, including the Real Estate Board of New York, suggest that landlords "might" offset this change by increasing monthly rents. I can literally hear my landlord typing the email right now. Advocates for the bill argued that the change would make the city more accessible to newcomers by reducing initial moving costs. Like, sure. Move to New York City and save a broker's fee, then spend $200 every single time you leave the house!
The bill will go into effect in six months. Read More |
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