Gotcha!

A Dutch Gouda from New York's Muranda Cheese Company, Gotcha Gouda, is sweet and fruity with a tangy aftertaste. It's also something New York Mayor Eric Adams may be able to enjoy in a jail cell eventually with a blush wine or fruit. That's assuming the whole "getting indicted" thing leads where it looks like it might. The cheddlines:

Got me, gouda!

—Matt Davis, N2K Chedditor

Quote of the Day

"People that are inherently anti-crypto and want to see it fail for whatever reason will always try to tar the industry as a whole with the brush of these bad actors." — Oliver Linch

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1. Meanwhile Across Town, Samantha Was Dealing with An Indictment of Her Own

I bet you New York Mayor Eric Adams cares about the jail conditions at Rikers Island now!

The mayor, who recently began to talk to New Yorkers about how God told him to run for mayor years ago, is yet to remind us of this fact. However, you know who else was indicted? Jesus of Nazareth.

I'm not going to take credit for these hilarious jokes because I stole them all from X.com, which is, incidentally, the best place to get your popcorn for hot takes on the criminal charges against the mayor of the city I live in. Sure, my kid just started in the public school system, and sure, the education czar just quit, but this stuff is fun to watch. Who cares that it's deadly serious and rather alarming when you come to think about it?

The indictment alleges years-long corruption, as early as before Adams became mayor, involving corrupt dealings with foreign nationals. U.S. Attorney Damien Williams highlighted the case as a "grave breach of public trust," emphasizing an ongoing investigation that may implicate more individuals.

Everybody I know has been telling me Adams is corrupt for years. I voted for him knowing he was corrupt because I figured you needed somebody like that to wrangle the police unions. You go in there all idealistic and all that happens is they close ranks. Funnily enough the last city I lived in, New Orleans, also indicted its mayor. So, this is all about me. That's why you can really tell it's happening in New York.

Despite the charges, Mayor Adams has remained defiant. In a press conference, he denied breaking any laws and criticized the federal authorities' handling of the investigation. Adams vowed to continue serving as mayor, urging New Yorkers to withhold judgment until after his defense is presented.

Let's hope his defense is, "God told me to do it" because I would like to read the tweets. Read More

2. Disneyland's Iconic 'It's a Small World' Ride Is Closing for Months

My favorite (and, remember, I'm a sick individual) Disney story is about the time CEO Bob Iger had to call the parents of a child eaten by an alligator at his Disney World resort in Florida on the eve of opening a major new resort in Beijing. It opens his autobiography, Ride of A Lifetime, about running the company for many years. But you've got to wonder why his publicists thought it'd be a good idea — however "tastefully done" — for him to open a memoir with that anecdote. I suppose they reminded him of the importance of gripping storytelling at Disney, and the rest just happened.

Speaking of rides of a lifetime, Disneyland's beloved "It's a Small World" ride in California is scheduled for two major maintenance closures in the upcoming months. The first closure will last from September 16 to November 15 to conduct general maintenance and decorate the ride for the holiday season. Following the holiday period, the ride will shut down once again on January 21 for a "few months" for additional maintenance with plans to reopen in spring 2025.

Originally debuted at the 1964–1965 New York World's Fair, the classic attraction was created in collaboration with UNICEF and personally overseen by Walt Disney. After its fair success, "It's a Small World" was moved to Disneyland where it opened on May 28, 1966. Now, you know, it's closing for a bit before reopening. But it's not like anybody got eaten by an alligator, is it? Read More

From @cheddar

You'll want your sound on for this.

OpenAI is rolling out Advanced Voice Mode for ChatGPT, enhancing conversations with more natural audio interactions.

Initially available to paying customers in the Plus and Teams tiers, Enterprise and Edu users will gain access next week. The feature now sports a blue animated sphere instead of the previous black dots.

Try: "Chat GPT, write an ode to me, on my birthday, then read it aloud. Kthxbye."

Follow @cheddar on Instagram!

3. Hurricane Helene to Hit Florida

This is the story of a hurricane, the man the authorities came to claim…for something that he never done. Wait — it's a story about a real hurricane? Oh, dear. Hurricane Helene continued to intensify yesterday afternoon, strengthening into a Category 3 and then 4 storm hours before it was set to make landfall in Florida's Big Bend. The National Hurricane Center sounded the alarm, warning that Helene could bring a "life-threatening" storm surge of 15 to 20 feet in parts of Florida's Gulf Coast. Its wind field extends as far as 275 miles from its center, and the effects will be felt as far inland as the Appalachian Mountains. Be safe down there in Florida. These things are no joke, even Waffle Houses are closing. Read More

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Learn More

4. Crypto Boss Says Crypto Is Still Cool Despite $8 Billion Fraud, But He Would Say That

Crypto boss Oliver Linch, CEO of Bittrex, joined us to talk about why Caroline Ellison's 2-year sentencing for an $8 billion fraud related to crypto does not mean you should freak out about crypto.

"In the crypto industry I think we all want we want to see the palpable evidence that justice is being done," he said. "As we learn more about the details, we realize that what's at stake here really isn't anything to do with crypto. It's just a bog-standard traditional fraud. It was complex, and it involved crypto. So of course, the industry is implicated, but there's nothing inherent about the allegations that really relates to crypto. So, for a lot of people in the industry here, we want to move on, and hopefully the sentence gets us one step closer to moving on."

Got it.

"I think the better interpretation of what happened here is bad people choose bad things," he continued, sounding edgy. "People that are inherently anti-crypto and want to see it fail for whatever reason will always try to tar the industry as a whole with the brush of these bad actors."

That's me! I want to see crypto fail! I want to tar the whole industry with the Caroline Ellison brush! Then, we talked about the importance of regulating the crypto industry.

"What any industry needs in order to succeed is regulatory clarity and a legal framework that works," he said. "The world is waking up to the importance of crypto, the fact that it offers people significant advantages that traditional finance cannot provide. And people calling out say, 'Okay, let's do it safely.' Make sure that there are consumer protections in place, but don't stifle innovation."

But do stifle $8 billion frauds, presumably. Read More

5. Meta's AI Chatbot Can Now Say "Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon"

I'm excited that Meta has introduced celebrity voices for its AI chatbots — from Awkwafina to Keegan Michael Key, John Cena, and Judi Dench.

Mainly I'm excited about this because I'll now be able to recreate Key and Peele's hilarious East/West College Bowl sketch by asking Keegan Michael Key to say the names of all the fictional players. Also because I can have Judi Dench pretend to order me around like she's M and I'm James Bond. You must go to the kitchen and throw out the trash, Bond!

The move comes after OpenAI's "voice mode" sparked controversy with a voice that resembled Scarlett Johansson without her permission. Presumably learning from that, Meta is using celebrity voices with proper authorization and compensation.

Is it me or does AI continue to live up to its promise to make the world better?

Jackmerius Tacktheratrix would approve. Read More